Posted by Spiritualniagara on Oct 14, 2013 in Uncategorized
From all of the Spiritual Niagara members to all of our Subscribers!
We hope that this day brings reason to celebrate thankfulness in your life.
Thankfulness for sharing this time with family and friends
Thankful for your past memories to have done so
Thankful for the life you have been given
Thankful for the stamina to grow from loss and pain
Thankful for the ability to learn from mistakes
Thankful for the realization that material things are not required to achieve joy
Thankful for the wisdom of age
Thankful for the feelings of the depth of emotions, all of them
Thankful to be able to share all of this with you!
~ Kathy Upper, Spiritual Niagara
Posted by Spiritualniagara on Aug 18, 2013 in Uncategorized
I felt the need to share the whole story today as I did on the CSF Leak Canada Face book group. For years I had struggled with swelling on the right side of my back and numbness along with pain in my right arm. It was identified that I had a arachnoid cyst on my spinal cord. This cyst would fill up with fluid and press on my spinal cord. I know that it would drain sometimes because I could actually feel my back get wet under my skin and my skin would go mushy.
I met with 2 neurosurgeons who doubted that the cyst was causing my symptoms and even if it was they would not touch it as the surgery could make me paralyzed. My neurologist felt that it was the cyst causing the problems and sent me to Dr Fehlings, head of spinal clinic at Toronto Western Hospital. He stated that it was the cyst causing the problems and if I did not have it removed it would eventually cut off the spinal fluid to my brain. I, of course, decided to have the surgery. I was told that there was a 1% chance of a spinal fluid leak, not knowing what that meant, I asked what would happen then does our body replace spinal fluid and I was told that it did.
Before the surgery my symptoms became worse. I felt pressure in my back at T1 and I could barely move my neck. I was experiencing dizziness and headaches and still did not have a surgery date. I contacted my family Dr and he said to contact the surgeon I called there 4 times and they did not return my call. I could not get anyone to help me. Then I thought of the patient services at the hospital and contacted them. After that I was able to get a surgery date and was booked for an MRI. In the meantime the cyst drained again because my back felt wet and mushy.
I had the surgery on Oct 22, 2012. The cyst was removed and while in hospital I had a drain which gathered any spinal fluid and it was half full everyday. They removed the drain and said that the leak had stopped. I have no idea how because I saw the collection thing was half full everyday. Anyways I went hone and tried to recover.
While at home I was experiencing constant headaches, dizziness and nausea. I thought maybe it was the pain killers so I weaned myself off of them. I still continued with the same symptoms. The headaches were better if I lied down. I called the doctor and was told to come back to the hospital. I ended up being admitted after sitting in emergency for 5 hours which was extremely painful because there was no place to lie down. MRI was taken which showed fluid in my back. I was in hospital for 3 days and because I was lying down my symptoms improved. I was released and told to return for another MRI.
Rather than explaining every detail i went back and forth between MRIs and Dr appts I was scheduled for a myleogram in January but it was cancelled because my MRI was okay. Dr Fehlings told me to start physiotherapy and I tried doing exercises but my symptoms got worse. In May Dr Fehlings discharged me saying that it might be migraines, low thyroid or arthritis that is causing my pain and that I should continue to see Dr Angel who he had referred me to.
Dr Angel provided me with amitrypline for migraines and although it did lessen my headache pain I continue to experience pressure pain in my head along with dizziness. My back also continues to swell up the longer I am upright and the more I move. It has now been almost 10 months that I have been spending the majority of my time lying down. I go to see Dr Angel again on Sept 4. I am thinking that I need a myleogram to prove that I have a leak but I am also afraid that the leak will not be found as I have read that this can happen.
That’s my story in a nutshell.
Posted by Spiritualniagara on Jun 29, 2013 in Uncategorized
What if it isn’t about me? What if it is about all the wonderful people that I meet on my journey towards wellness?
I am going to get better. I also get to choose how that is going to happen.
Posted by Spiritualniagara on Feb 28, 2013 in Uncategorized
I am currently recovering from spine surgery, where a cyst was removed from my spinal cord. The surgery was in October and recovery feels like it is taking forever. I am showing all the signs and symptoms of a spinal fluid leak but my surgeon doesn’t agree even though each MRI report said there was fluid in my back.
I have been put in this situation where healing myself is what I must do. The problem is I really need to believe that I can and right now I just don’t feel that. I have always thought the medical system knows how to heal us. I do believe in other methods of healing but I guess just not that I can heal myself.
I am not sure what else is in the way but it feels like something is stopping me from healing. I know that self-healing is possible. I have read and heard about it lots of times. So is it that I am just not ready? What the heck is stopping me?
I was so excited to start physio and get moving and as soon as I did my back swelled up and my headache got worse. I really do feel like I am on a roller coaster ride right now.
The fact that my surgeon has given up on me hurts. It is like he does not believe my symptoms are real. There are times that I think that I have to prove to him my symptoms are real but in order to do that it means not getting better.
Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?
I feel anger and frustration when my symptoms get worse again and that is also when I feel most hurt about not being believed. I also feel great sadness and want to cry. I am on a physical and emotional roller coaster.
I feel like I am not in control. The Universe has other plans I just don’t know what they are.
Writing this blog may be one of them. I have been feeling like I should write but hesitant to put myself out there.
My plan for now is to spend some time everyday concentrating on healing my back and spinal cord. I will try to be gentle with myself and conscious of how my body is feeling so that I do not hurt myself again.
I know that there are many others that can help me but I don’t think I have been spending enough time helping myself. I will continue my weekly reiki sessions with Roxsane. I am starting a meditation for healing course on Monday, which is weekly for 8 weeks. I am also continuing with weekly physio treatments.
I am not looking for more helpers I know that I have to learn to help myself. I think just knowing that others believe in me and my abilities would really help.
In doing this, writing this, and gaining acknowledgement am I also helping others? I hope so.
Posted by Spiritualniagara on Jan 22, 2012 in Uncategorized
All of my life I have been in search of. Seeking the answers to life. Why are we here? What is the purpose? The problem with being a seeker is you never feel satisfied. The answer seems to be beyond your grasp. I was a seeker always asking questions trying to find the answers to all the great mysteries. Well I believe that I have found some of those answers. What is my purpose? My purpose is to learn, love and grow. I believe in this life time and future life times the purpose is the same. We all have different lessons to learn whether it is to release feelings of guilt or to value others or ourselves more. I would guess that the lessons vary by the amount of people in the world. I believe the ultimate goal is all about connecting with Universal energy.
As a finder I have discovered, that knowing that we all come from the same energy, our goal is to connect back to that energy. It seems kind of strange because it is not like we could ever be broken from that connection we have just forgotten that we are connected. Personally meditation seems to be the best way for me to make that connection. I am committing to meditate daily.
This year I feel my challenge is the concentrate on learning how to allow. To let go of the reins and allow life to happen. I realize that I do not need to nor do I actually control everything. We think we have to arrange, to plan, organize but really life is going to happen anyway. I think we can get in our own way. My challenge is to slow down and listen to my intuition, connect with our source energy and allow. We are all vessels of this energy and sometimes we are the dreamer and sometimes we are the dream.
Posted by Spiritualniagara on Dec 20, 2011 in Uncategorized
I experience such growth when I challenge myself and by challenging I just mean to put myself in a situation that I have never experienced before. This year was an amazing year of firsts.
I welcomed in the New Year at the Queen Victoria Park festivities and even though I live in Niagara Falls I had never done that before. Luckily it was the warmest New Year’s on record so I picked the right year to do it. I celebrated 50 years of being alive this year and also joined in the celebration for 7 of my friends 50ths.
We went to Las Vegas together for a week where we celebrated with much laughter and toured the Grand Canyon and the Vegas strip. I went on the Maid of the Mist on my birthday with Tracy it was her birthday also. I participated in a Firewalk with Firewalk Niagara and walked over hot coals. I meditated beside the Falls with Peruvian Shaman and smoked a peace pipe. I went ziplining at Longpoint Eco-Adventures and I highly recommend it. I celebrated 25 years of marriage to the most amazing man! I took my mother to lunch on her 87th birthday to the Skylon’s revolving dining room. I participated in a Reiki share at the Garden of Healing for the first time. I visited the Finger Lakes in the US and stayed at a cottage with the Quiet Place.
I am sure that there are more first but those were the big ones, 12 of them. I wonder what 2012 will have in store. I know that I have learned to trust my intuition and dive in to these adventures when they are presented to me. In the New Year don’t forget to challenge yourself to. If you have had some neat adventures this year feel free to share them in the comments. Can’t wait to hear about your adventures also.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Years my friends!
Posted by Spiritualniagara on Dec 20, 2011 in Uncategorized
The earth’s energy is extending to the satellites therefore the earth’s aura is increasing. When observing the earth from Mars, listening and looking; the Earth has a heartbeat! You contribute to it’s every beat!
Posted by Spiritualniagara on Oct 22, 2011 in Uncategorized
It’s all about control isn’t it. We often feel the need to have a handle on everything in our surroundings.
I work full time all day, maintain a website, try to see and spend time with family and friends and now I am taking a course that take me hours every night. It’s no wonder I haven’t written in my blog. My house is also in need of a good cleaning. I was experiencing a constant sense of anxiety.
So I have decided to pull back the reigns and slow it all down. I am going to exit stage right and only concentrate on things that make me feel good.
I am also letting go of control. My website has taught me that everything can and will come to you in precisely the time that it should. I have had the opportunity to meet some of the most amazing people. I was taking the course to improve my skills so that the website could be better. I have learned that I do not have to be good or perfect at everything.
I am not giving up in fact I am opening up and allowing more to come to me without having to control it.
I believe I have learned my lesson; it may seem minor to others but allowing something to be incomplete is difficult for me.
I thank the Universe for the lesson.
Posted by Spiritualniagara on Aug 24, 2011 in Uncategorized
So for the first time in my life I went on a fast. It was recommended by my Naturopath to cleanse my system, detoxify and reduce inflammation. On day 4 I was told to stop. I was going to stay on it for 5 days but my emotions were becoming very difficult to control. I kept feeling bouts of depression and anger and I was just not fun to be around.
I’ve managed to not allow my emotions to control me and tried not to effect others with those emotions. It has been an interesting test. At work I felt an overwhelming feeling of anxiety like a panic attack only very brief. I was overwhelmed due to the amount of work that I have to do and had the feeling that I will never get it done. I made myself relax and remember that everything always turns out okay and I was able to talk myself out of it. What was interesting was the energy in that feeling. It lasted only a few seconds but it was like electricity with alot of terror mixed in for good measure.
Our emotions can truly take us over if we let them. I could have went with that emotion and allowed it to swallow me up. Instead I choose to stop it and be in control.
On days 3 and 4 of the fast I experienced waves of emotion sometimes depression and sometimes anger. I discovered that this can be normal at the beginning of a fast when a body is detoxing. The Naturopath said it is unusual at the end of the fast. I told him that I had an MRI and they put dye in me during the fast he said that explains alot. The dye is toxic and it is probably what caused all the mood swings. So remember don’t fast when you are going to have an MRI with a dye injection. LOL Who knew?
I did find the 4 days of fasting interesting. I guess the fast adventure was more about controlling emotions than controlling my food intake. I am proud that I was able to control what felt in uncontrollable emotions. I credit the ability to be able to do this to meditation. Which reminds me there is a new session of free meditation course coming up in September in Niagara Falls. I took the course in 2007 and 08 and it did change my life. It can do the same for you. Think about it. You can control your emotions they don’t have to be in control.
Posted by Spiritualniagara on Jul 16, 2011 in Uncategorized
It is so great to have a couple of weeks off to regroup, play and relax. I tend to spend my vacation doing all the things I can’t do when I am working. You know like cleaning, painting, organizing; that is unless I go away.
This year, my 50th, we are going to Vegas. We being, me and 7 of my bestest friends. We have know each other most of your lives so we have wonderful rich histories together.
I think that it is important for women to get together with their friends. I feel so relaxed with them I don’t have to be someone that I am not, I don’t have to be in control, I don’t have to explain myself, I can just be. I know we will also laugh, alot.
We have been planning this for a few years and it is finally here. I know we will have an awesome time.
Vacation should be a time to replenish and this year that is just what I plan to do.
Viva Las Vegas